The passing of a parent is an extraordinarily difficult time in an individual’s life, and what makes this difficult time crueler is that it triggers so much work at a moment when the energy for it is at its lowest.

While the list of things to do after a parent dies can appear overwhelming, they can be better managed by recognizing these tasks don’t have to be done all at once.

Checklist of Tasks Following a Parent’s Passing

• Notify family and friends. These may be difficult calls, but they will represent a chance to connect with those who may share your grief.
• Obtain a legal pronouncement of death. This is usually provided by a hospital or nursing home, and will be a prerequisite to obtaining the death certificate.
• Arrange for the care of dependents and pets. Whether you live close by or in another state, care will need to be arranged for any dependents or pets immediately.
• Secure the home and any valuables. Make sure the home is securely locked and any home alarms are set. Identify valuables and make sure they are properly protected from theft.
• Make the funeral arrangements. If the deceased’s instructions were not discussed while alive, then look for written instructions and, absent that, hold a family meeting.
• Arrange for the mail to be collected and voice mail messages to be monitored. These communications may surface things that will eventually need to be addressed (e.g., bills). When time permits, provide instructions to the Post Office to have mail forwarded to you.
• Ask a friend or family member to write an obituary. There’s already so much grief being experienced, allow someone else the opportunity to share their experiences, while also providing you a reprieve.
• Obtain certified copies of the death certificate. These are usually available around two weeks after the death, and will be needed to manage a range of financial and legal matters as it relates to your parent’s estate. Request as many as 10-12 copies.
• Contact the executor of the estate, if not a family member.
• Contact the decedent’s employer, attorney, financial professionals, Social Security Administration, pensions, life insurer, other insurance companies and the Department of Motor Vehicles (to cancel license and change ownership on car title).
• Reach out to a credit-reporting agency, such as Experian, TransUnion or Equifax, which can provide a list of your parent’s creditors. You may want to call each creditor to notify them of the death since each may have its own accommodation policy (e.g., suspending late payment fees, etc.).
• Close or update any social media sites a parent may have had. Close email accounts.
• Cancel services no longer needed, such as subscription services, phone, etc.

During this difficult time, with so many details to take care of while dealing with the elevated emotions due to the passing of a parent, it’s imperative that, when possible, you let others help you.  Even in a time of tragedy, self-care must be practiced, and sometimes that means letting something else make the phone calls.

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